Thursday, June 23, 2011

I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane

Later today, I will be headed to LAX and boarding a plane to Aruba for a little R&R with the fam.  I am going to try my best to continue posting; however, a huge tropical drink and sandy hands may keep me away.  I mean, can I plug my laptop in at the swim up bar?

I have to be honest with you, I truly feel like I need a vacation.  I know, nobody says, I don’t feel like I need a vacation; I mean who would turn down some time in paradise, even if you don’t run at the hectic pace that I try and keep up with on most days.

But, as I have posted over the past few months, I lost both my Nana and Pop – two days apart – in March.  I still miss my Pop Pop a lot and thought of him often this father’s day.  My biggest regret was that I didn’t get to say good-bye.  I hadn’t picked up the phone to call him since Christmas because I was “too busy.” The moral of the story, don’t use that excuse and put things off – especially when it comes to loved ones – I still feel guilty about it. 

With my Nana, I did get to say good-bye and it was probably the most loving and peaceful way to let someone go; but I am still missing her like someone shot me – close range – in the heart.  I think of her every day and feel an incredible loss.  Actually, I will be honest and say that I have been quite blue since she passed away.

I know that this is life and it won’t hurt quite as much as time passes – although I know I will always miss them.  Part of my dilemma is that I don’t think I have truly given myself time to mourn and heal from these loses. 

Once I returned from New Jersey, I hit the ground running and I was glad for it because it took my mind off these stages of grief that I have been experiencing. But three months later, I feel that I am at my breaking point.

Also, I kid you not when I say that the life my family and I lead keeps us going at break-neck speed.  First, I’m not complaining and I wouldn’t change anything about my life, but my husband, son and myself are not idle people.  We don’t nap – well I probably would if given the opportunity – and we are always on the go with sports, activities, going fun places like Universal Studios, the Zoo, the Aquarium.  There is never a dull moment in our lives and that is how we like it, but sometimes it can just catch up with you.

There is also the fact that we are rich with people who care about us, so we find ourselves with many invitations to celebrate milestones, travel or just break bread with our close friends who are like family to us.  It is a blessing and my family and I are very fortunate.

I never imagined that this is the life I would lead and I am a better person for it, but sometimes a girls gotta just kick it and get a little sand between her toes.

So I’m not looking for pity, none is needed; No complaints, just explanations on why I am truly looking forward to getting out of dodge.

So, you may have to put up with a bunch of quotes, Daily Oms and my Kabbalah Tune Ups in my absence.  But don’t fret, I will be back, and -- with a little sleep and time to contemplate -- I do believe that I will be even more fashionating.


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