Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Yes! Yes! Yes!

“Make the most of every moment. Get excited about every little thing. Why not? Why not have your wonderful moment of excited anticipation? Why not be happy NOW? This is my greatest challenge, but something I'm pouring my heart into: learning how to enjoy what I have, right here, right now. Every moment is precious and although sometimes I struggle to see it, I see it more and more every day.”
Bethenny Frankel, “A Place of Yes

As I have posted before, I am a huge fan of Bethenny Frankel http://allthingsfashionating.blogspot.com/2011/04/girl-crush.html; but I also happen to be a sucka’ for a good book – especially if I can read it free via the library.  So I declare a resounding Yes for Frankel’s most recent book, “A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life.”

Part biography, part self-help, part motivational and inspirational; "A Place of Yes" had me hooked from the first page.
As I have said before, I am constantly evolving and a work in progress. I still struggle to maintain a positive attitude and not let life’s speed-bumps derail me, but it’s not always easy.

So I found myself relating to Frankel on multiple levels – her childhood struggles, dysfunctional relationships, career set-backs; However, she ultimately pulls it all together – herself together – to put it all in perspective and realize that, in order to get what you want out of life, you have to be who you are -- without any pretenses.
More than just being an ex-housewife, Frankel is the star of her own show on Bravo, contributes to Health Magazine as a monthly columnist, and has trademarked the Skinnygirl cocktail franchise. 

She makes it clear that she didn’t get there overnight.  But Frankel uses personal anecdotes to guide us through her journey and back up her 10 rules.  She is highly entertaining and her thick New York accent rings through loud and clear. 
Frankel proclaims that her book isn’t about being perfect, or even being nice. “It’s about getting through your life in the best possible way for you, and learning how to stop getting in your own way.”

She is very clear that it’s not the Power of Positive Thinking or a Secret.  Well that is good since I’ve been there, done that.  She states that “Yes gives you something to do: a mission, a purpose, a goal.”
An excerpt from “A Place of Yes” that sums up Frankel’s rules:

1.   Break the Chain.  Your past happened, and it’s part of you, but you don’t have to carry forward the bad habits, bad feelings and ideas about who you are from that part of your life.  Break the chain and celebrate coming into your own as an adult who is in control of your own life.  What happens from here on out is entirely up to you.

2.   Find your truth.  Only you can know who you want to be, what you want out of life, and what the right path for you could be.  Investigate yourself, your true desires, what feels right to you.  Listen to your gut and celebrate who you really are, apart from anyone else’s expectations.  Knowing your truth will make every decision in your life easier.

3.   Act on it.  You make things happen.  Don’t wait for someone else to make them happen for you.  Act on your beliefs and instincts and the things you know about yourself.  Don’t just sit there – do something.  Forward is always the right direction, even if you aren’t sure where you are going, as long as you act with integrity from a place of yes.

4.   Everything’s your business.  You never know what could become your next big break.  Do everything to the best of your ability, give every job your all, and treat everything like it’s your business.  Respect others, play fair, do what feels right, and always keep both eyes open for what might be your next great path.  That way, you won’t miss an opportunity.

5.   All roads lead to Rome. You won’t always know what’s over the horizon, but you will get somewhere good if you stay focused on what you want.  Even when something bad happens, you’re likely to see why it happened later.  Everything you do leads to something else, and in the end, if you stay on your path, you’ll get to the place you wanted to be – even if it isn’t what you expected.  It’s probably going to be better.

6.   Go for yours.  You have to get what you want before you can have the inner resources to give to others.  Clarify your goals and then go for them.  It has to be about you first.  It’s not selfish. It’s common sense.  It’s the only way to be whole.

7.   Separate from the pack.  To find your calling or succeed in the path you’ve chosen, sometimes you have to step out of the crowd and remember who you are.  You’ll distinguish yourself, and you’ll have a much better view of where you are going.  When the way gets crowded or obscured, stand up, step forward, and move away from the masses.

8.   Own it.  Keep your word, act on your beliefs and whether you regret something or not, always own up to it.  You did it.  Admit it, even when it’s hard.    You’ll never have to regret that you didn’t cop to the truth, and owning it always turns out for the better in the long run.

9.   Come together.  When all is said and done, life is about connection.  Come together with others.  They may be work colleagues or family or the partner you’ve chosen to share your life.  No matter who they are, get yourself right first and then you’ll be able to come together to do something even greater together.

10. Celebrate! Life is precious. Love is precious.  Celebrate the many good things you have instead of focusing on the worries, and you’ll find success, inner calm, and happiness at last.
OK, so Yes isn’t a brand, spanking new concept; but I love the way Frankel presents her ideology.  I feel that these are simple and practical principals that set a positive foundation. 

To me, these are easy words to live by and apply to my own life.  Personally, my aspirations aren’t as grandiose as Frankel but, if applying these rules can bring you the success she has acquired... than I say Yes!

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